Shared with permission, written by an Airborne Artillery Officer.
Zechariahs Prophecy. Yet another cannonball-sized movement in my heart from the Spirit.
Luke 1:78-79
78 “because of the tender mercy of our God,
whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high
79 to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the way of peace.”
Those last four words are what did it for me. ‘The way of Peace‘. That sounds like a distant dream for me right now. We were up nearly all night trying to figure out how to calm our two-week-old Son; ultimately, we tried everything and made him so overtired that he didn’t fall asleep until he was on his Mom’s chest around 3 am.
These days feel like combat for me, far from the way of peace. The days are unpredictable, and there seems to be no routine despite our efforts to set one. It’s combat. That’s the only way I know how to describe it. I thought last night, during the chaos of my all-nighter air assault mission that led directly into another movement at 3 am during my artillery platoon’s evaluation cycle at the National Training Center before deploying to Iraq. I remember feeling so deflated when I was called to the commander’s Humvee less than an hour after finishing this long, drawn-out failure of an air assault mission. I couldn’t believe I was going to have to do it again, and I was going to have to lead another platoon movement to a new firing position. This was insanity, and I could barely keep my eyes open. I remember leading the convoy, literally dozing in and out under my night vision goggles…
Yep, that’s how the nights feel right now. Exhausted and battered, only to be called to the commander’s Humvee again and again. So why do those words ‘the way of peace‘ stand out to me so much? In my angry prayers for respite last night, I began to sense that this was indeed a time of testing from the Lord. How to answer the test? I haven’t figured it out yet. Except that these words this morning point me back to the purpose and mission of Jesus. And to the way in which he accomplished it.
In my journey of faith, at least in recent years, I don’t think I have been physically and emotionally tested in the way that I am now. So, what does this mean, Lord?
He leads my eyes back to verse 79… “to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death.” Wow, I actually chuckled to re-read that. That’s exactly how it feels in the midnight hours—sitting in literal darkness, under the shadow of death, in this case, death being physical exhaustion and weariness. But the word clearly states that Jesus will be a light in this place, and that he will guide us out of it, into the way of peace.
Hebrews 12:11
“For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
Thinking back to that all-nighter air assault mission. Why did they [the evaluating cadre] allow it to go on for that long? How was it beneficial? It taught me how to keep going. When there is nothing left. Literally nothing. It taught me to endure. To put on my helmet, brief the platoon, and get moving. To get through the breach and know that there would be rest on the other side, at some point.
I don’t know that I can pinpoint a time in Iraq when this testing came to bear fruit. Except maybe the night our howitzer exploded, and a mass casualty event kept us awake until the sunrise. And what did I do then? I got it done, and eventually I slept when it was all said and done.
The way of peace is narrow, as Jesus himself said it. The way of being a new parent is rough. And I have a choice to make, each and every night. I have to choose that I am going to trust the one who is training me. I have to choose that I will believe in the fruit it will yield.
Prayer
Jesus, as you always do, thank you for giving me space and clarity to write. To think through these things occurring in life. To see, to hear, and receive your teaching. My heart is full again now that I have understanding. My heart has joy to know it is all for good. Jesus, I will try, I will not quit, but will keep on trying to commit my heart to you during these late nights. Teach me when to engage our Son. Teach me Lord, to be following your way for my feet, and to let go of my own way.
J3Khai.fun 